Saturday, May 26, 2012

On a more personal note…

I figured I post this here rather than on facebook…since noone really knows me here anyways, or won´t care.

The past few months have felt like one long acting class lesson. Rollercoaster of emotions, all kinds of situations you´re thrown into and have to come up with the fitting reaction, even if you don´t even know what you´re doing. And that´s the point, I don´t know what I´m doing. I´ve literally become this fragile little thing…
And, as dumb as it sounds, not even the sunshine and the great warm weather can make me feel better. I guess nobody will be able to relate to that, but that usually was what brought me at least through the summer, I called it my “saviour for summer”. Silly!
I just won´t admit to myself that I have a serious problem, that I´m suffering from depression.
I still have no one to talk to… sometimes it´d be nice to have an actual real-life friend where I live. But I guess I´d just feel like a burden and keep my mouth shut anyways.
Haven´t been productive in so long. Haven´t been able to write (anything) in so long. Haven´t even been reading for months. And the words and the pictures and the emotions are hurting the insides of my head, cause they want to be processed.

Yeah, well….guess I´m done, for now

Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Oh yeah… ^^

Oh yeah… ^^

Friday, December 9, 2011

I can not take this fuckery anymore… I don´t even have words…I can´t talk to anyone…cause I wouldn´t even know how to explain myself…I could just cry…but I don´t want to seem so fucking weak
I can´t stop mourning, and I´m at the point where I want to shave my whole fucking head and start cutting myself again eventhough I know it´s stupid and won´t make me feel better but distract myself…

Sunday, October 9, 2011

the59thstreetbridge:

Getting my hair done by my family’s cat

 :D

Thursday, September 29, 2011

likeliquidsugar:

Behind the scenes of a photoshoot me and Letitia Ringshaw did a little while back :) scuse the awful quality, i need to start using my canon HD filming and invest in a better editing program! ♥

great footage… I love how it´s done. …and I still wonder why the lovely Tish isn´t a fulltime model yet ^^

Tuesday, September 13, 2011
constant issue -.-

constant issue -.-

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

I feel like ranting and whining and just screaming what the fuck…

I feel like an ungrateful little child, stomping her foot on the ground cause she didn´t get what she wanted.

-I just erased the rest of this post, it would´ve been too much of a bitch post-

Monday, August 29, 2011
Saturday, August 20, 2011

WANDERLUST

I want to scream, I wanna run.
I can´t scratch it away.

Someone take this from me, please!?

Monday, August 15, 2011
So, I´m just posting one of my latest drawings before I crawl into my oh so inviting bed.I started this drawing years ago (I took a quick photo, so excuse the quality), but never finished it as I thought I produced a bunch of shit right there… I eventually found it, when my boss asked me to show him some more of my stuff. I wanted to try and see if I could save it, as it had/has a strong meaning (to me). It´s untitled as of yet…so feel free to give it a title, interpret it however you want or just find it odd. Whatever, I´m sending it free now…and hopefully the feelings that are attached to it.I don´t think I did an amazing job on it, or made it perfectly realistic yadda yadda… but the process of making it, finishing it was…. more what I was going for. That´s why, it´s kind of yours now :)
Let go of all the dark feelings for atleast tonight, clear your mind, lay on the floor for awhile, go for a walk or scream bloody murder. But don´t be miserable for a moment, this is not the end and things will look up sooner than you think. T his has been said before, I´m a copy of a copy, but right now we are alive.

So, I´m just posting one of my latest drawings before I crawl into my oh so inviting bed.
I started this drawing years ago (I took a quick photo, so excuse the quality), but never finished it as I thought I produced a bunch of shit right there… I eventually found it, when my boss asked me to show him some more of my stuff. I wanted to try and see if I could save it, as it had/has a strong meaning (to me). It´s untitled as of yet…so feel free to give it a title, interpret it however you want or just find it odd.
Whatever, I´m sending it free now…and hopefully the feelings that are attached to it.
I don´t think I did an amazing job on it, or made it perfectly realistic yadda yadda… but the process of making it, finishing it was…. more what I was going for. That´s why, it´s kind of yours now :)

Let go of all the dark feelings for atleast tonight, clear your mind, lay on the floor for awhile, go for a walk or scream bloody murder. But don´t be miserable for a moment, this is not the end and things will look up sooner than you think. T his has been said before, I´m a copy of a copy, but right now we are alive.

so I was going to buy poptarts today because I´ve always wanted to try them. But well, no, they are not vegetarian. Why? same thing with twinkies, I saw that after tasting one, I do not miss out on much though X)

murderotic:

luna-skylar replied to your post: so I was going to buy poptarts today because I´ve always wanted to try them. But well, no, they are not vegetarian. Why? same thing with twinkies, I saw that after tasting one, I do not miss out on much though X)

Huh? How is there MEAT in candy? Or is there gelatine in it?

gelatine in poptarts and beef fat in twinkies (there ight be more, I didn´t read all the ingridients)

 O.O never knew this!

Friday, August 12, 2011
After my last post, pretty self explanatory…Justin, I thought this was a really nice thing, this whole “keep yourself from cutting” thing and I want to dedicate this to you… I´m not quite sure if you still do it, but I know for sure you did. And I know how it feels like, having the constant urge of wanting to hurt yourself… I did it as a kid, but eventually stopped. It started again last year but turned out to be a phase, triggered by massive stress. Ok, now it´s out!I never told anyone before…But I thought, rather than making this for myself I do it for someone I care about and is much more in need for this.(I did one for Lilly too, I hope you´re not offended. But somehow, she´s still a part of you and with every cut you try to get her out…. but she deserves to go gracefully, and not with a cut.)

After my last post, pretty self explanatory…
Justin, I thought this was a really nice thing, this whole “keep yourself from cutting” thing and I want to dedicate this to you… I´m not quite sure if you still do it, but I know for sure you did. And I know how it feels like, having the constant urge of wanting to hurt yourself… I did it as a kid, but eventually stopped. It started again last year but turned out to be a phase, triggered by massive stress. Ok, now it´s out!
I never told anyone before…
But I thought, rather than making this for myself I do it for someone I care about and is much more in need for this.
(I did one for Lilly too, I hope you´re not offended. But somehow, she´s still a part of you and with every cut you try to get her out…. but she deserves to go gracefully, and not with a cut.)

Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Still rocking the candyhead. Damn that red hairdye is adamant. I bleached it two times now, and my hair feels like… well gross. That´s why I´m giving it a rest for the next week or so… guess that means hat-day every day ;)Look at them roots, never been so white XD

Still rocking the candyhead. Damn that red hairdye is adamant. I bleached it two times now, and my hair feels like… well gross. That´s why I´m giving it a rest for the next week or so… guess that means hat-day every day ;)
Look at them roots, never been so white XD

Monday, August 8, 2011
about to bleach my hair again…hope to get rid of all the pink/orangeness this time.Or as people called me today: candyhead ^^

about to bleach my hair again…hope to get rid of all the pink/orangeness this time.
Or as people called me today: candyhead ^^

Monday, July 25, 2011
So, on friday was Tish´s birthday! (go vist her blog or I shall haunt your dreams) ;)Well, I promised to light my lantern for her and of course totally forgot to post a photo of it! So Tish, love, here you go. I put a candle in mine (red) and my parents, so everyone on the street could see it :)

So, on friday was Tish´s birthday! (go vist her blog or I shall haunt your dreams) ;)
Well, I promised to light my lantern for her and of course totally forgot to post a photo of it! So Tish, love, here you go. I put a candle in mine (red) and my parents, so everyone on the street could see it :)